I bet there’s one woman or man in your life whom you’ve cheated on at least once, and whom you’ll probably cheat on again and again. No, I’m not talking about your significant other. I’m talking about your hairdresser.
We’ve all been there: You’re away from home, which also means you’re away from your regular hair salon and favorite hairdresser. But your split ends are getting out of control, your dark roots are so long that they’re giving you accidental ombré and you’ve been dying to try that short, pixie cut à la Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson. So you bite the bullet and find a local salon, whether it’s a Hair Cuttery or somewhere fancier.
From here, the situation can go one of two ways. Let’s start with the better outcome:
The hairstylist turns your chair around to face the mirror when she’s all finished cutting your hair, and it’s like the scene from Miss Congeniality when post-makeover Gracie Hart (aka Sandra Bullock) walks outside in that tiny blue dress…minus the whole tripping and falling part. But you feel guilty because you like it much more than how your hair turns out when you get it done at your regular salon. You never thought another hairstylist could tame your locks the way your go-to hairdresser did. And now – even though you feel like you can rule the world with this new fabulous hair –you don’t know what to do.
Run. Far, far away from your old go-to hairstylist. Find another salon in your hometown, and just start getting your hair done there. There’s nothing worse than having to show your beautiful new hairstyle to your old hairdresser and explaining that (obviously) someone else cut it that way. I swear, hairstylists must think they have some kind of monopoly over their clients because they all get so offended when a client goes elsewhere. They take it personally, like getting your hair cut elsewhere is a personal attack against them. We’ve heard the phrase hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Well, I’d say hell hath no fury like a hairdresser scorned. God knows I’m not letting an angry hairdresser get anywhere near my hair with a pair of scissors.
Or the hairstylist could turn your chair around to face the mirror, and you end up looking like Katy Perry at the beginning of her Last Friday Night music video…except you didn’t just roll out of bed hungover from a night you don’t remember; you actually just paid money for someone to mutilate your hair.
In other words, you HATE it. It looks like you gave your dog a pair of scissors and let him hack away at your hair. You’re going to be reduced to wearing hats and ponytails until you can get back to your regular hairdresser. But how do you deal with her reaction to your horrible haircut?
Grovel. There’s no other way to go about it. You’ve got to go back to that hairdresser essentially kissing the ground she walks on. They’re going to say they told you so: that nobody else can make your hair look as awesome as it does when they style it. They’ll scold you for even thinking about going to a different hairstylist, let alone following through with it. But you’ve got to make them feel bad for you. Tell them how angry you are at the other stylist, how you think the other hairdresser should get her cosmetology license taken away, how you regretted the choice from the minute you walked into the salon and how you’ll never, ever, ever stray again. They’ll take pity on you, and they’ll work their magic and manage to fix your hair. Crisis averted, and you learned your lesson.
Sometimes, desperate hair times cause for desperate hair measures: there’s nothing worse than walking around with a grown-out haircut or a hack job. In times like these, it’s okay be unfaithful to your hairdresser; I’m almost one hundred percent sure he or she would not want you walking around looking like a fool with bad hair. Just make sure that if you do plan to cheat, you understand what you’re getting yourself into and know how to handle the consequences.
Rachel is a junior multiplatform journalism major at the University of Maryland. She spends her time watching weird TLC shows, making questionable life choices and being the queen of sass. Follow her College Park shenanigans on Twitter @rachhbarron.
Featured image: Huffington Post