Here’s A Toast To The Douchebags!

They say insanity is when we do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. We all have that one guy, you know the one…the one that you’re finally over and all of a sudden you’re laying on your couch geeking out with your bestie when your phone vibrates and that’s it….three little words “hey what’s up” and game over, you’re in love with him again. Are we insane? Well I’m sure 99% of the male population would say yes, but no, IT’S NOT YOU IT’S HIM.

photoWHY DOES HE THINK HE CAN DO THIS TO YOU? Like, does he have some sort of tracker on your heart? It seems that it’s always right when you decide you’re totally over them and then bam, there he goes showing up at the bar looking extra sexy. A smile, four drinks, and an hour long conversation and all of a sudden you wake up naked in his bed. BUT YOU WERE DOING SO WELL. And you chose to ignore the looks you were getting from your best friends across the bar, cause what do they know anyway? They didn’t do the same thing with their douche bag last weekend I swear.

So you wake up in the morning reeking of stale tequila and have half of your makeup smeared off. Gather your clothes and what little bit of dignity you have left, and try to get out of there as soon as possible. Text your group chat for a ride, and spend the next three hours drowning yourself in buffalo chicken and Gatorade. And as much as you hate yourself for doing it…again for the millionth time, you secretly love it because maybe, just maybe this time he changed.

Well, guess what… a few days pass with no texts and you realize he didn’t change, and honestly, he probably never will. So you cling to the people who love you, spend the day laughing and crying with your girlfriends, I swear next time I’ll listen to you guys. Yeah right, and I bet you’re over him too…until a few weeks from now when he texts you again…but for now you’re a strong independent woman, and no one can break you. Maybe, just maybe one day we’ll get over our douche bag.

Kaleigh is your average twenty-something hot mess. A senior at Southern New Hampshire University, studying social media marketing. Part time student, full time party.  You can catch her drowning in boxed wine and buffalo sauce. To read more from Kaleigh, check out or follow her daily struggles on twitter @itskalesbitches.


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