Just like in autumn when the first leaf falls and everyone reaches for a pumpkin spice latte and screams “Sweater Weather”, people lose their shit when they see the first flurries of winter. They have visions of perfect snow days from their childhood-filled with beautiful snowflakes, hot chocolate, and roaring fires.
But let’s be honest, we all know that’s not how our current snow days turn out. To keep you warm during these dull winter days, I want show all of Unwritten’s readers out there how different their expectations of winter are from the actual reality of them.
Expectation: The world will be an absolutely breathtaking Winter Wonderland.
Reality: The snow will turn into a sad, grey slush.
I’ll admit it, snow is pretty beautiful as it falls quietly from the sky and covers our college quads. Outside looks like a Christmas card, but for only like 2.5 seconds. Once the snow stops falling, the beautiful white blanket turns into a grey, maybe even yellow, mess that makes winter even more depressing. Oh, and don’t forget about how terrible driving conditions will be.
Expectation: You’ll spend the whole day outside in the snow.
Reality: You’ll spend the whole day in bed.
I know you all mean to go outside and spend the day frolicking in the snow making snow angels, rolling snowballs, and sledding. But let’s be real. We all know as soon as you find out class is cancelled, you’ll go back to sleep, wake up around 1:30 in the afternoon, and spend the rest of the day eating Chipotle and binge watching Netflix in your bed.
Expectation: No school? I’m going to catch up on homework.
Reality: Snow will fuel your procrastination.
Not an outside person? Well, you can just spend your day inside wrapped in your grandpa sweater reading ahead for your Shakespeare class. But wait, there’s a Scandal marathon? Well, we all know what you’re gonna do . . . spend the rest of the day in bed eating Doritos and watching Olivia Pope kick ass.
Expectation: You want to drink grown up hot chocolate with Baileys.
Reality: You and your friends will get drunk on Baileys.
Now that you’re in college you can like, get totally crazy, and spike your hot chocolate with Baileys Irish Cream. But then you realize you don’t actually have any hot chocolate because no self-respecting twenty-year-old drinks hot chocolate on the daily. However, you do have plenty of Baileys. Shots anyone?
Expectation: Let’s sit in front of a fire!
Reality: Let’s sit in front of our virtual fireplace.
Last time I checked, landlords or campus housing didn’t provide places to live that would allow immature college students to interact with fire. But if you’re hung up with wanting to sit in front of a fireplace like you did when you were a kid when it was snowing, you can be a dweeb like me and download an app that simulates a fireplace complete with crackling for your computer.
Sorry, not sorry, if I sucked out all the fun and wonderment from your snow days, I’m just pointing out how us millenials actually spend our days during winter. Comment below with how you spend your grownup snow days!
Maggie Cassidy is a sophomore pursuing a degree in English Literature at the University of Maryland, College Park. When she’s not blogging for Unwritten, Maggie can be found trying to combine the personalities of: Tina Fey, Beyoncé, Kate Middleton, and Anna Wintour into one fierce female persona.