10 New Years Resolutions You Probably Won’t Keep

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!  Congratulations, you somehow managed to survive another year of bloodthirsty professors, two-timing friends, and social media fluctuations (God damnit Instagram, direct messages, really?) “Next year will be different”, you tell yourself as you begin to reflect on all the things you didn’t do this past year. You have so many great ideas, so many great goals to strive for, and lucky for you there’s a new year to do it all in. Here’s a few of those great ideas you’ll make a commitment to do, but might just end up as another resolution 12 months later:

1. Start going to the gym more

If you went to the gym as many times as you told yourself you probably should, this wouldn’t be an issue. But let’s be honest, you’re busy as it is so why would you spend your free time in a sweaty metal zoo when you can curl up in bed and watch Netflix? Just one more episode…

2. Eat healthier

Easy Mac or salad? The choice is simple but yet so difficult. Ok fine, you’ll make the salad. Let’s see what you have; expired lettuce, a mushy tomato, and one stale crouton. Now where do you keep the Ramen again?

 3. Get better grades

4.0 this semester, you’ve got it. You would’ve had it last semester if it weren’t for those three midterms, five homework assignments, and two final papers. Oh wait… well regardless this time will be different. 400 level classes are supposed to be easier anyway.

4. Get a job/better job

Either you have a job that you hate, or want a job that’ll give you a little more cash to throw around. Regardless, you need a change. But it seems like for every job you need experience, and for experience you need a job.  Whatever, it’s still socially acceptable to use your parent’s money until your 25.

 5. Get back in touch with that one old friend

It’s been forever. You guys were inseparable in high school, how did it get so bad? You reach out to get together; too bad you guys are so busy nowadays. Oh well, you’ll see them at your high school reunion in five years anyway.

6. Stop buying unnecessary things

Let’s be honest, you have way too many shoes/clothes and you should stop buying them in order to save some money for life necessities like I don’t know, food or rent. Sounds like a good idea, you’ve just got to cop that one pair of Jordans or Jeffrey Campbells you’ve been trying to get forever first.

7. Organize everything

You’re sick of having trouble finding anything, and when it comes to time, being last minute. So to resolve the issue, you make a vow to be more organized. First order of business, write down everything you have to do and make a schedule. First thing on the schedule, “Do list tomorrow”.

8. Do some volunteer work

You’ve watched enough Extreme Home Makeover and had enough friends do Habitat for Humanity to receive secondhand service hours. You’ve just never taken the steps to do it yourself. Once your schedule slows down a little you’ll pull the trigger. Little do you know the question becomes ‘if’ your schedule slows down, and the answer is never.

9. Use social media less

If your posting your resolutions on a social media site, you’ve lost this one already. What’s the point of making strides on your resolutions if you can’t share them on social media followed by #progress and #dedication?

10. Get Closer with your family

Once you went off to college it was hard to keep in touch. You miss them, but never seem to find the time to get back in touch. This year you’ll make an effort because you’ll have more time. It’s not like you’ll be spending it on your other resolutions anyway…

Troy Parker is a Communications and Public Health double major at the University of Virginia. As a fraternity brother he’s preppy, funny, and maybe a little bit cocky. But hey, TFM is big for a reason. 

Featured image from http://www.addspacetoyourlife.com



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