I don’t know about you all, but I take pride in my dorm room. It’s clean, organized, and super cute. It’s basically looks like a page from the Pottery Barn Magazine. When girls walk into my room I want them to secretly seethe with envy, and when guys come in I want them to think, “Wow, this girl is a classy bitch.”
Despite the très chic string lights and the old Hollywood movie posters I have on my walls, I am guilty of having a handful of items in my room that I wouldn’t want any potential love interest to see. Get ready everyone because here is a list of some of the embarrassing items I have in my room, and most definitely in your room as well, that you wouldn’t want a prospective love interest to see!
You didn’t get a chance to do your laundry, wait let me rephrase that, you didn’t feel like doing your laundry today. But you don’t mind that you have couple of leggings, pairs of socks, or t-shirts in that pile. What really makes us girls cringe is the misfortune of the old granny panties and ancient training bras that are right on top. However when ladies are in a guys room, it really makes us second-guess our interests when we see a mountain of dirty boxers and mud stained half-calves.
That One Poster
In a boy band phase similar to that of the early 2000s, it’s inevitable for girls not to be charmed by the crooning young men. However it’s completely fine to have a few classic N*SYNC songs on your iPod, but it might be a little strange to have a huge poster of the One Direction boys looking down at your bed. How can a guy compete when the handsome and charming Harry is watching over them? The same goes for guys when they have a poster of naked girls or a list of drinking rules on their walls. Whenever I see these ‘works of art’ I just sigh because I’ve realized that I have walked into Will Ferrell’s bedroom from Old School.
If you’re a good little girl or boy and take the advice your orthodontist gives you about wearing your retainers every night until you basically die, then good for you. Speaking as a girl who was the ‘Braceface’ of the mid-2000s, retainers are disgusting. They basically fester in your mouth at night and then you put them back in that plastic box you got like four years ago from your hygienist. And let’s be honest, it’s pretty gross if you have that retainer box opened and in general eyesight where whoever you brought back to your room can see these disgusting death traps of orthodontics. It’s even more embarrassing when your retainers are a subdued neon green or pink.
Tampons on Tampons
If there is anything in the world that would be found in a room inhabited by any woman, it’s these bad boys. Because of their size, they always find their way into the most odd areas of your room, like under your bed, on your desk, even in your bed. Most guys turn a blind eye when you try to stealthily take one from your friend at a party, but they’re pretty hard to ignore when a pack of them and a box of Midol are hiding under your pillow.
The Unexpected Protein Source
Dudes are all about the protein. They always have their little protein shake cups attached to their hips, and that jug of powder big enough to feed a body builder hiding on the shelf of their closet. But the funniest protein encounter I had in a guy’s room is when I saw multiple boxes of Luna Protein Bars for Women. I couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that this ‘swole’ guy ate women’s protein bars.
The Tacky Message on Your Whiteboard
My friends and I do this all the time, and we’re a pretty vulgar group of girls. When someone’s not in their room, we like to write obscene phrases and pictures on our whiteboards reminding each other of our mistakes from the previous weekend. Well anyone can get the wrong idea when your friends write about you blacking out last week and ‘vomming’ yourself into oblivion.
Your Bunk Bed
I think this one takes the cake. There is nothing more depressing than being a grown adult and having to scale a bunk bed mountain of bedding, pillows, and stuffed animals. Having a bunk bed is like being sent all the way back to your elementary years, and is not the best way to assert your maturity as a college student. Will Ferrell may have preferred a bunk bed in Stepbrothers so he could have more room for activities, but a bunk bed simply won’t do for the activities you guys are planning.
Don’t worry yourselves after reading this list. We all have these items, and probably even more embarrassing ones hiding within your room right now, I know I do!
Comment below and share with us some of your embarrassing items you have stashed in your room!