Army Invasion

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Camouflage, the color of all redneck Americans. And if you live in a place like my hick hometown, hordes of camo clad citizens parade through the streets on their big green tractors waving their Confederate flags with excessive pride. Literally boys from my high school would don camo ties, shirts, hats, and jackets that screamed hick. It’s like the cast of Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo Boo multiplied by the hundreds and all decided to loiter outside our local WaWa after school.

Now you’re probably thinking that I am not a huge fan of camo, but that’s not entirely true. I ‘fondly’ remember during my former middle school years that I rocked a particularly amazing camouflage number. My middle school fashion icon was Lizzie from the Lizzy Maguire show so I basically mimicked her clothes. Now picture a chubby twelve year old with braces wearing those tacky fake pearls from Claire’s and a purpley-grey camo denim jacket, and wait for it, matching pants all from our favorite store Limited Too. Sounds amazing right? And don’t lie, you know if you saw me in that outfit when you were twelve you probably would have wanted a pink version of my it.

Sadly, my mother only let me wear that outfit once because once was all it took for her to realize that it was basically child abuse for allowing me to leave the house in that outfit. Years later after I worked through my traumatizing attempt to mimic a Disney star and going to school with the high school hicks, I’ve realized that camo might not be as bad as my wardrobe from the early 2000s.

Despite the negative connotation associated with the controversial print, camouflage is coming out of hiding this fall from the back of Bass Pro Shop, and in a surprising twist, to the front of my closet.

Recently I got my hands on a pretty bitchin’ classic camouflage cardigan. It’s awesome because it’s not overwhelming like those army jackets those super cool hipstas’ wear, but it’s not understated like camo accented jean shorts. So I basically can wear it when I’m squirrel hunting on the Mall or guy hunting when I’m out with my friends.

For those days when it’s just me and one of those cray-cray black squirrels chilling under a tree, I like to wear my army inspired cardigan with a cream colored teeshirt, light washed jean shorts, my gold spiked black sandals, and a heavy gold chain necklace to round out my fierce huntress persona, and eliminate any possibility of me looking like a sister of the Roberston brothers.

When it gets cold out, I feel highly discouraged from leaving my cozy room where I can just hang out in my grandpa sweater, but with my new cardigan’s warming powers I might just maybe actually want to go out.  Now I know when you ladies think of ‘going out clothes’ the word cardigan probably doesn’t flash in your minds, but you should give it a chance. Not only does it keep you warmer, but if it’s too hot on the Blue Bus you can take it off and put it on the seat next to you to discourage that dude in a hoodie from sitting next to you.

When I leave the sanctuary of dorm at night this fall I plan on keeping warm by wearing my cardigan on top of my lace and tulle ivory dress with a pair of black booties, as modeled by my super-cool sister in the pretty spectacular feature photo that yours truly captured.

Now after hearing about my up and down relationship with camouflage promise me as fellow fashionistas that  when you try this look out on your own you won’t let yourselves look like Hilary Duff’s awkward daughter or Mama June from Honey Boo-Boo. Instead use my tips to make camouflage make you stand out, not blend in.

Comment below with how you would wear camo!

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